On a recent trip to Vons for a few needed grocerial essentials, I suddenly felt like I was walking around Disneyland. Not because I had to wait in a long line, or because there were lots of kids running around, or because I was high on hallucinogenic drugs. No, it was because they were piping out music from the Pirates of the Caribbean* ride over the sound system.
At first I thought it was a Muzak® version, but no, it was the actual song – validated by a glorious chorus of pirate voices extolling the virtues of the pirate life. Knowing that supermarkets choose their shopping soundtrack very carefully to ensure maximum impulse purchasing, I began to wonder what the revenue generating value was for this particular ditty.
Were they running a sale on rum? No, a quick survey of the liquor aisle answered that question. Unless modern pirates have a penchant for cognac or mudslides, there had to be another reason.
Perhaps they were appealing to the kids, but if so, the rest of the repertoire didn’t support that theory. Last time I checked, kids weren’t into sappy 80’s loves songs from Phil Collins and his ignominious ilk – American Idol performers excepted.
I’ll probably never know why a song advocating the lifestyle of thieving murderers was playing in Vons (or in a Disneyland theme park attraction for that matter), but I was sincerely tempted to walk out with a bottle of rum under my arm. If they stopped me for shoplifting I would simply reply, “Hey, it’s the pirate life for me too.”
*Own it today on Disney DVD.